Communicating with the younger generations is challenging, however, my daughter has managed to change my perspective. She has taken to calling me Linda. Yes, it’s in reference to that Linda! My mother thinks it’s a sign of disrespect. To be honest she had an issue with my daughter’s lack of respect for her elders from an early age. The way she saw it, my daughter’s constant questioning of her, was proof of that lack of respect. Her trying to understand my mother’s motivation for the rules being imposed was seen as a lack of deference to elderly wisdom. By the same token, my daughter calling me anything other than mother, mama, or mom is also a sign of disrespect for my elderly wisdom (haha!), and my position (of authority) in her life.

Decoding communication

In my experience, communicating with a teenage daughter is difficult. No corporate communication, interventions, and confrontations I encountered during my career have been more difficult than trying to maintain open and honest communication with my teenage daughter. Communication whereby we both felt understood and we knew with certainty that our message had been received as intended. As with communicating with the younger generation in the corporate world, it has taken a lot of trial and error, and I still often get it wrong.

But here is where “Linda” has saved me. When she starts calling me Linda, it’s my clue to tune into the conversation even more, to stop any multitasking, to do my utmost to suspend judgment, and most important of all, to shift my perception. Her calling me Linda means I’m not getting something she is trying to communicate to me. So, for me, it’s not a sign of disrespect; it is her sign of how important communicating with me is! So important that, rather than stop trying, she will express her frustration and call me to action by referring to me as Linda.

#non-judgement

One of the most important things we as leaders get to do is suspend judgment. This is especially true when communicating with the younger generation and it is exactly what “Linda” has taught me. Don’t rush into judging my daughter to be disrespectful, don’t rush into forcing my way of communicating unto her, and always remain open to shifting my perspective and learn. These are the same lessons that leaders dealing with a younger generation in the workforce are having to learn and apply. Our values are not necessarily the same as theirs. Our way of communicating is most definitely not the same as theirs. This does not make them wrong and it certainly does not negate the importance of their message.

There are a lot of “dealing with the younger generation in the workplace” leadership courses out there. They teach you the characteristics of these generations, give you guidelines on how to talk to them, and promise you that afterward, you will know exactly how to manage and keep them happy. These are certainly good information to have and are useful for developing mass communication. As leaders engaged in 1:1’s, we need to remember however, that these younger generations are individuals and not a generic prototype. And the best thing we can do with individuals is to get our communication clues from them personally.

In the same way, not all daughters out there are calling their mother Linda; not all younger generations are the same. So, as leaders, we need to determine the “Linda” clue for each one we are in direct line of communication with. And yes, I know it’s hard. I know we would rather have one standard of communication that fits everybody, but the truth is that’s not how human beings work. If, when communicating with the millennials in our team, we want to achieve meaningful connection, we have to put in the effort and put aside the judgment.

So, I will remain grateful each and every time my daughter calls me Linda—as long as she doesn’t call me Karen….

If you need some support in defining your “Linda” clue, get in contact.